The breeze of the winter air made me shiver. I opened the passenger’s door and let Lea in. I went to the other side and entered the car. I turned to Lea first before I put the engine on.
“Baby, put your seatbelt on. I’m not going to allow you this time. Wear it, okay?” I caressed her cheek with my thumb and she smiled.
“Okay, Mommy. But, can we have ice cream after, Mommy? Please?” She gave me her puppy-eyes look and pouted. I laughed and nodded my head. “Sure, honey.”
We drove until I saw the rows the deserted trees. I breathed deeply as I felt the never-ending pain struck again. I continued driving toward the metal gate until the maple tree. I parked my car and looked at Lea.
“We’re here, baby. Come on, get your gifts for them and wear your gloves.”
As I opened my door, the cold engulfed my body. I went to Lea’s side and held her little hand. We started to walk in the snow covered field. When I saw it, I squeezed Lea’s hand. Before I could say anything, Lea chimed.
“Hi Daddy! Hi Gia! How are you? Me? I’m fine. I’m always fine. Thanks to Mommy! Gia, I have something for you. I’m going to open it for you, okay?” Lea tore the wrapper of the gift. “Te–nen! It’s an MP3 Player! Mommy told me you always wanted this, Gia. Well, this is for you.” Lea laid it beside the marble stone.
“And, oh! Don’t be jealous, Daddy! Of course, I also have something for you!” She tore the cover of the other gift. “Hooray, Daddy! It’s the necklace you gave to Mommy! She told me this will be the best gift for you. And I believe her, Daddy! So, I hope you’ll enjoy your gift.” She placed it beside the stone.
“And now, Gia and Daddy, Merry Christmas! I wish that you will always be safe there.” Lea bowed her head down and whispered. “I wish you’re both here.”
I kneeled before Lea and hugged her. She clutched her fingers in my hair. “Mommy, I wish they were here.”
I held back my tears as I needed to be strong for my daughter. “I know, baby.” I patted her back before my tears began to shed. “Okay, baby, it’s cold here. Get in the car now and I’ll head after a minute. Then will celebrate Christmas at the house but” I held my index finger up. “We’re going to have some ice cream first!”
Lea squealed and kissed my cheek. “Did you hear that Daddy? Gia? We’re going to have some ice cream! I’ll also order for both of you! So, bye bye now! I love you, Daddy! I love you, Gia!” She gave each cold stone a kiss and head off to our car.
I stood up and breathed in the cold air. Before I could stop them, tears began to rush to my cheeks.
“Hey. Merry Christmas.”
I knew I couldn’t hold it this time. I felt my body shake and I sobbed uncontrollably.
“Gia, honey, I miss you. Please be safe, okay? I love you, honey. And Jake..” She put her hands on her face as she still couldn’t believe what happened. “Jake, I miss you. I love you. Always and forever. Please protect Gia, okay? Take care of us, as well. I know.. I know you’ll not let anything bad happen to us.” I tried to wipe my tears away and smiled. “Thank you so much to both of you. But, if I have a wish this Christmas that I want to come true?” I looked between the two gravestones.
“It’s that I wish you two will come back. That’s all.” My voice began to weaken. “That’s all.”
I turned around and began to walk away when a thought passed my mind. I knew I needed to release it from my system. I looked around the two gravestones again and said “I need you. I need the two of you. Please, come back.”
I walked away again from the two of them, still feeling defeated and blue. I don’t know until when but now, my heart and soul were still aching for the lost and love I knew I couldn’t get back.