Goodbye, Cole

“Promise me you’ll never forget me, Haley.”

I laughed as tears were escaping from my bloodshot eyes.

“Cole, you’re the first man I fell in love with and hoped that that will be forever but, as you can see, it’s not going to happen. You’re the first man that made me alive. You’re the first man that made me feel the real life. You’re the first man that made me realize I am special and worthy. You’re the first man to break my heart when you left me for the military. You’re the first man I felt worth forgiving when you returned telling me you still love me. You’re the first man that made me happy, always. You’re the first man that made me devastated when I knew that you knocked up my best friend. And now, you’re the first man I will ever let go, knowing it will hurt me as long as I will remember. I’m pretty sure I won’t forget you.”

I smiled, knowing that will please him. But I felt like that would be the last time I would ever smile. Even the last time I would feel alive.

I memorized the way he was holding my hips now, the way his forehead was touching mine and the way our lips were almost touching. As he exhaled, his warm breath sent my lips and whole body warm and shivering.

I touched his cheeks and did the thing that would truly hurt me after.

I leaned forward and felt his soft lips on mine. He swiped his tongue over my lower lip and I clutched his collar. Our tongues explored each other’s mouth. I tugged him closer as I deepened the kiss. I tried to memorize that perfect fit of his lips and tongue on mine, the sweet taste of his mouth and the heat of the experience.

I pushed him lightly before I did something insane. I looked into his eyes and gave him a sad smile.

“Goodbye, Cole.” I whispered. I don’t think I’ll stop loving you, I wanted to add.

I turned and walked away with my chin up. Icicles were puncturing my heart in every step I took away from him. And once more, Cole made me feel how painful it was to give up the treasure you kept and loved the most.

THE END

let me hold your words before you leave;

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