If Only


“I love you.”

“Hey, how’s Jamie? I missed her! I haven’t seen that little girl since our visit!”

“She’s fine. I love you.”

“Tell her we’ll go shopping next time. And, is it true that Mackenzie broke with her boyfriend?”

“Yes. I love you.”

“Oh, that’s… I don’t know. Well, Macky’s still young. She will find that right man one day. I believe it.”

“So do I. I love you.”

“When will be the gathering, Adam? Because I need to check our schedule…”

“Damn it, Elle!” The spoons clattered in the kitchen counter as I angrily tossed them.

Elle turned around from the kitchen sink and gave me a death glare. “What the hell, Adam?”

I went around the counter and stepped on her personal space. I held her cheeks and caressed it with my thumbs. “I said I love you, Elle.”

Elle pushed me hard but I only backed a few steps. Angry tears ran down to her cheeks.

“That’s stupid! I’m fine now, Adam. I’m happily married. Charles and I are so damn happy at this point. Don’t ruin it, just don’t you dare. You don’t go here and tell me that you love me when everything is just so late. I waited for you, Adam. Distance was a big problem for both of us but I patiently waited. I waited long enough than any other woman could. And what did you do? What did you do?! Oh yeah, you just knocked up a stranger you just met at that freaking bar! Don’t you shove that past on me today, Adam. What happened before stays there but it is still unforgettable. I was hurt and Heaven knows I’m still hurting. But I’ve moved on from that incident and still trying to get over this freaking pain! Now, let’s not ruin this night, Adam. Or if you can’t handle your own shit, just get out of here.” Elle stormed out the kitchen and left me.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Guilt and rage consumed me. If only I wasn’t selfish back then. If only I thought things several times before jumping into action. If only I could take that damn time back. If only I could have my Elle again.


let me hold your words before you leave;

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