The slow, quiet hum of the music nearby drifts over the silent park. The trees with abundant green leaves sway with the hymn of the winds. The gentle touch of heat of the sunset spreads over our bodies. I let my right thumb caress her soft, pale cheeks. The still tears erupt from her eyes. She won’t let it fall.
I hear Cassie’s intake of air. I blink twice and purse my lips. I let out a sigh.
“Cassie, listen to me. We will not forget everything. We keep the pain and let the treasured good times go. That’s the way it is between us.” I say. Cassie’s jaw tightens. “We will not forget each other, but we will forgive us. We will not regret anything, but we will blame our sins. We will not shed tears or even sob, but we will let out angry curses. We had fun, and we enjoyed the days we’re in each other’s arms, but it’s time to wake up and leave. We will not open doors anymore; we both know it will always lead to nowhere. Each time we open another one, we just fall into a void. We never experienced falling in stars and suns. We always fall in the vast space full with the darkest possibilities. Cassie, we always hurt us before, so much we were almost numb; almost because the flicker of hope that things between us would be alright hurt us the most. It blew us and shredded our souls to their thinnest layers. We can’t stop this, Cassie, but we can prevent this. Let’s begin today. We’ll just say the word goodbye, just the word. There will be no physical contact after. No kiss, no hug. If we don’t do that, our touches and marks will just linger, and that will cause additional pain and trouble. I’m not expecting you to understand, but I expect you to cooperate.” I end.
I tentatively touch her lower lip and her body shivers. Cassie removes my touch away from her and stares at me in the eyes. The burning passion of fire engulfs her beautiful, fierce eyes. Determination and anger fill the rest of her eyes.
“Leo,” she begins. “You filled my holes with the sweetest taste of affection. But the hunger always consumes the best of me for you. I let it win, always. Remember, it’s not always mine; it’s our fault. We let ourselves reach this end. We let us wait for this time. We didn’t fight for this. You can’t call ‘opening the doors’ fighting. It’s different. Where was the trust? Where was the understanding? Where was the patience? All gone like smoke. We were cigarettes, Leo. In the end, we just let the fire took the best of us. So, no, I won’t forget you. You can’t just forget the person who brought out the heaven and hell in you.” Cassie ends.
A small smile touches our lips. I nod at her and she let out a soft laugh. She clears her throat, our signal. I tap my right foot three times.
I turn around after to walk away. I put my hands in the front pockets of my jeans. I’m whistling our favorite tune while skipping steps. And then, I realize that maybe, just maybe, I made the right decision after all.