I could see you from a distance.
You were holding your child; the smiles you were exchanging brought hurt to my soul. I never did make you smile like that. It was the most beautiful, even if it was the only smile of you that I had ever seen. It glowed under the light of the afternoon; it was the star of the day.
Your new man laughed and you joined him. It was a landscape and I was the stranger wanting to tear it apart. I loved the lady in that landscape and her space was the only piece that I would tear in the canvass. I would only tear it and never buy it; you were more than money.
And I knew I did not deserve you.
I only caused you tears and breaks, blisters and pains. I did not hold you strong like what I had promised and I regretted the times I could have had you again.
I would not apologize.
I wanted to remember how stupid I was for hurting you inside. I would not apologize for my drinking and cheating problems. I wanted the pain to sink inside my skin that I would bleed. I wanted to fade away while remembering how absurd I was with you.
I loved you and always.
You would always be with and in me. Though I did not deserve your head that would think of me. I would chaos myself because I knew I was worthy of it, at least in you part.
So, please forget the reason you loved me because I did not deserve your love in the first place.